The current state of the world is really bringing to light how many differing views are out there. And there are so many. It can be so hard to know who to listen to and when to dismiss advice from others.
I always struggled with taking on other people’s views until I learned this lesson:
In the hospital after giving birth to my first child, I was being taught how to breastfeed her from one of the nurses. It was so awkward, but I eventually got the hang of it. When it came time for the second feeding, I felt confident in feeding my daughter. Feeling exhausted, I was so proud that I actually remembered what she taught me and did everything the nurse instructed me to do. The nurse that was on duty during the time it was the next time to feed my daughter, took one look at me and started yelling and forcefully moving my hands, my breast, and my baby’s head, telling me I was doing it all wrong. I was so flipping confused. I tried telling her that is how the other nurse taught me to get her to latch and she proceeded to continue to show me her way of doing it. I complied with her instruction but was left not understanding how two nurses from the same hospital, could have completely different instructions for the exact same act for a new mom, that just gave birth and had absolutely no idea what she was doing. I was one day into motherhood and already felt defeated, embarrassed, and totally confused.
I really learned then that everyone has an opinion and it is my job to do whatever feels right to me. The way the first nurse showed me worked for me and it felt better to me, so I went with that when I was finally left alone to feed my child. I realized one of the most valuable lessons I could that day, that anyone can tell me whatever they feel is right for them, maybe it will work for me, maybe it will not. I am left to do what I feel is right for me and for my babies. And when you are a new mother, the opinions of how you should do things with your child just keep on coming. I think of when I was learning to breastfeed every time I am in a new situation that I do not necessarily want someone’s opinion but I know I am going to get it anyway. I still listen to them, especially when I can tell they are doing it out of love, but at the end of the day, I am the only one who knows what is truly best for me.
I feel it is great to question yourself when hearing others views because they might give you some information that you were not aware of but to also just trust your heart. It really does have all the answers.
Love, Nicole